She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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