So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
