bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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