Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
