i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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