yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This is my gift to your gina
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
