He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
organizing the empties. That sober.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
