Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
