All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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