I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
