people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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