is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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