In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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