Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
