Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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