youre lurking in front of me
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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