i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
