TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
