I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
