I should be sponsored by Trojan
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
