called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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