I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he puts the penis in happiness.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
