Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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