He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
