Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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