so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
