I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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