Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
