so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Pants are for mortals
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
