Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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