How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think my moral compass just broke
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
