I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
