Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
