New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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