so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just want nice things and good sex
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
