all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
