We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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