I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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