Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I look better un-naked...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
