Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
