Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
