This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
