I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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