Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Fuck appropriateness.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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