The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
