I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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