Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
