There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you had me at cake vodka
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
