I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
