Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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